In order to get God’s attention, my Polish grandmother used to cross herself. He wouldn’t listen, she said, unless she tapped the fingertips of her right hand systematically against her forehead, chest, left and right shoulders – in that order. This was the required pattern. It was God’s phone number, effectively.
But nowadays it’s even easier, you can just poke Him.
Yes, God is on Facebook.
Over half a million people “like” God’s profile on the networking site and the number of Facebook users who have given Him a cyber thumbs-up keeps growing.
Being omnipresent, I guess it’s only natural that He’s also on Twitter. OurHolyLord tweets biblical passages to 242 followers via HootSuite, a social media tool that helps manage multiple web accounts.
To be fair, there are numerous God profiles on each major networking site. I’m just referring to the one that seems to be most popular right now.
It’s not the religious Internet presence that’s surprising. Many savvy churches promote their ministries online, and the Christian church is notorious for trendy marketing, such as the upcoming Noah’s ark theme park in Kentucky.
But it’s the claim to be God on the other end of the computer that I find particularly striking.
If God is finally on Facebook, then how can it be unholy to use the site?
Last November, a New Jersey pastor forbade the use of Facebook. Reverend Cedric Miller ordered his married church officials to delete their Facebook accounts or resign. He warned that the site endangers marriages by creating temptation for adultery.
Thou shalt not creep thy ex’s photos.
“You want to log on? Log onto God’s words,” Miller reportedly said while holding up the Bible. “Get your face in this book.”
Yet despite which book his face was in, it turned out that the pastor had had his own struggles with temptation – without the aid of Facebook. He publicly admitted that he and his wife had had sexual relations together with another couple, years before the website existed.
But he railed against it even while God was on it. I guess he didn’t know.
If my grandmother were alive she might be pleased to learn that God does not seem to have an email address yet. Instead, under contact info His profile reads: “Just Pray!”
For me, I confess, if I have something to say, I’m more likely to write it on His wall.